Comings and Goings at Mai Tam

The last few weeks at Mai Tam have been busy ones, with lots of visitors before, during, and after Tết. Our sweet little Thiên has been in and out of the hospital two or three times since Christmas. I was so happy to see him when I went to Mai Tam this morning. He seems to be holding up fairly well – imagine only 4 years old and to have been through so much! Ma Minh, one of the Mai Tam mums had stayed with his at the hospital and he seemed very bonded to her. When I left today, everyone was napping and he was tucked in under the slide. He is a very special little boy.

A few posts ago I wrote about a little baby Khôi An, who was incredibly tiny when she came to Mai Tam when she was just a few days old. In fact, I don’t think I have ever seen a baby so small. Today Diễm, the mum who has been looking after Khôi An, came to me and said something in Vietnamese and while I didn’t understand it, I knew she was both happy and sad. It turns out Khôi An was adopted yesterday and so while she is very happy that Khôi An will have a good family, she has also been in tears since the baby left. She has devoted 5 months to raising her and I know that the reason Khôi An is alive is because of Diễm. I am very fond of all the mums at Mai Tam, but Diễm is one of my favourites ... because I stay with the babies and toddlers mostly, I see her the most. My heart went out to her today, as she misses little Khôi An so much. Today she spent most of her morning in the kitchen ... trying to stay away from the playroom where Khôi An’s bed was, I think. Diễm, you are such a good mother!

Last week at Mai Tam there were three new people – a pregnant mum and her two kids, her 6-year-old daughter and her 16-month-old son. She is a little rough around the edges, but in general the folks at Mai Tam are fairly accepting and I am sure she will soften her approach soon enough. It is a chaotic place at times and I have learned that it is important to understand what kind of behaviour to ignore and what to focus on. But I have to say the little boys drive me crazy sometimes.

When I came back from Laos, I heard a new baby had come to Mai Tam. I didn’t get to meet him, as he was very ill and he had gone into the hospital very soon after he arrived. Last week at the orphanage, Father Toai had tears in his eyes when he said the infant was dying – that they hadn’t been able to help him. This week, I discovered the babe had died, poor soul. When I arrived at Mai Tam this morning, there was a very pretty, very thin young woman I hadn’t seen before sleeping on the floor. This in itself is not unusual, as people always sleep on the floor for naps. With so many people, there is no space for cots or mats or anything else. What was surprising was that she was sleeping through the chaos of all the kids playing and running around and fighting and laughing and singing and crying. She slept all morning. It turns out she is the dead baby’s mother and I am sure she is exhausted and grieving and depressed. The folks at Mai Tam are worried about her because she says her baby wants her to join him. The folks at Mai Tam don’t make too big a deal about it, but I am sure they are keeping an eye on her and making sure she eats. She ate very little today and she was asleep with all the kids when I left. I hope she will be able to find healing and comfort in her sleep, but how sad ...
And at some point this week, a little baby girl named Uyen (nicknamed Mi Mi) came to Mai Tam. What a beautiful little child. I didn’t take a picture of her, but she is gorgeous. Maybe next time I visit! Her mother lived at Mai Tam for a while, over Tết, perhaps. At any rate, I think she has gone home to her family to let them know about the baby. Thu, the manager at Mai Tam, says they hope she will come back and be able to look after her baby. In the meantime, Mi Mi is being looked after with love and care.

So today was a good visit. On the plus was the fact that Boi Boi came to sit with me several times and even read a book to me. And adorable Ngoc Quy was as adorable and sweet as ever. But little Binh, whose mother died last May, is still acting out and bit me ... just a bruise, thank goodness, but it is so frustrating not to have the language to be able to talk to him. Poor little guy.

Comings and goings indeed.
Take a look at these photographs I found on the web: http://quinnmattingly.com/mai-tam/